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Emotions are not something that simply stir around in the brain; they invade every cell in the body and affect the immune system. However, they are ingenious in that they not only communicate our inner response to change, but equally important, eventually they provide many messages about how to deal with our current dilemma.

How we perceive a particular loss has a major impact on the emotions that surface. If we believe the loss of a loved one was inevitable, we grieve one way. If we believe the loss is unjustified, we grieve quite differently.

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You’ve cleaned out His armoire–maybe the garage, maybe the attic–maybe the glove box in His Camry parked idly in the driveway to the home you and he once-upon-a-time shared. His stuff is folded neatly in cardboard boxes scarfed from a local supermarket; maybe it’s clumped in black Hefty trash bags piled waist-deep, and line the entrance to a front door. As you choke back tears and wait for Goodwill, or The Salvation Army to pick up His belongings, you stare at your reflection in a full-length mirror attached to the back of His empty closet door, and ask the haunting question, how do I go on living without Him?

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No one likes to think about illness and death, when we are well, we feel invincible and there is nothing that can prepare us for the shock and devastation of a terminal diagnosis. The knowledge that we can no longer take our lives or the lives we share with our loved ones for granted takes away our ability to plan for the future and removes hope from our lives. When a loved one becomes terminally ill, we grieve in anticipation of their death, we grieve for the loss of them in our lives and we grieve for our own mortality.

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Let Me explain why I think that our government and our people should support this ongoing war in Iraq and afghanistan. I Believe that our country must stay the course of this war that so many of our people and the Iraqi people have suffered and died for. This is a war that should have never been started to stop the war now would not only weaken the belief that democracy can really work for this country. Iraq and their people would lose faith in the belief that there really is a better way of life worth fighting for. This would not only bring a new supply of young people to support This twisted View Of religion that men like Osama Bin Laden are teaching making more future death machines out of more young children. This would only prolong the cycle of war and terror that this country and the world would have to deal with in the future.

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Are you wondering if the pain will ever cease, if the emptiness will ever leave? Will life ever have meaning again? You may not think so now, but the answer to all three questions is an unqualified yes. And there are millions of people who can vouch for that fact.

But that does not mean you will be your old self once again. Nor does it imply that you will be somehow totally free from the anxiety of your loss experience. There are a constellation of variables that determine the intensity and the length of grief. They range from the type of death, number of secondary losses, and degree of emotional investment in the deceased to your coping behaviors, health, social support system, and expectations, to name just a few.

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