In part three of this series of articles I will examine the ADA model. ADA stands for awareness-dialogue-action. It is the assertion of this author that mastering anger awareness and emotional literacy is key to anger management. One must be aware of the things that cause emotional reactions in us. For example, the busy dad or mom who some days could not care less if the kids’ toys are scattered all over the living room floor and then on other days has a parental temper tantrum at the presence of these toys. Why does the same situation cause different reactions? It is likely that on the days where a meltdown occurs, the parent may be experiencing other stressors which are exacerbated by the sight of scattered toys. Therefore, to chide the child(ren) is a displacement of responsibility because the problem lies not in what they did but in the parent’s lack of awareness of their own stressors. They may also lack the words to name their feelings otherwise known as an emotional vocabulary. Consequently, they cannot dialogue with themselves about why they are having these feelings and take responsibility for them—at least enough to manage themselves. Let me give a more detailed example.
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Change Your Language And Reduce Your Anger - Part 3
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