For Widows Only - 3 Tips To Think About After You Bury Your Man
You’ve cleaned out His armoire–maybe the garage, maybe the attic–maybe the glove box in His Camry parked idly in the driveway to the home you and he once-upon-a-time shared. His stuff is folded neatly in cardboard boxes scarfed from a local supermarket; maybe it’s clumped in black Hefty trash bags piled waist-deep, and line the entrance to a front door. As you choke back tears and wait for Goodwill, or The Salvation Army to pick up His belongings, you stare at your reflection in a full-length mirror attached to the back of His empty closet door, and ask the haunting question, how do I go on living without Him?
Dear Widow, I’m here to tell you, you can, and you will. What you are experiencing is the grief process. And here are 3 tips to help you through:
1. Don’t think.
If you find yourself thinking endless thoughts about Him, perhaps it’s time to create a distraction. Begin what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal. Set a timer for ten minutes, fingerhug a fast-writing pen, then fill each page with one loving memory of Him. Do this daily. Don’t think about it. Do it. Like grief–can’t go around it, can’t go over it, just gotta go through it–writing is a process. The faster you get your thoughts on paper, the quicker you will get through your personal tunnel of grief. So, what are you waiting for? Open your joy-nal. Write like the wind!
2. Do think.
Your checking account needs balancing; All four tires on your Corolla need rotating. There’s a leak under the kitchen sink, and your garage door hangs by one hinge. These are important tasks, which require attention, and must be handled in a timely fashion. If you’re thinking, I can’t do it without Him. Think again. Like “The Little Engine That Could,” think, yes, I can! From this day forward, develop a positive attitude. Begin this minute, this second; begin now!
3. Think it through.
Everything you do turns to mush. Every day you make one mistake after another, and you think you are hopeless. You are ready to give up!
Stop it!
Take one giant step backwards.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Now dust yourself off, and begin again.
I know it is painful burying a soul mate. I know, because I am a widow, too. But, I am here to tell you, if you follow my 3 tips outlined above, you will be one baby step closer to the best of your life.
Linda Della Donna is a freelance writer who supports new widows through the grief process. Della Donna wants every widow to know, we’re not alone. To learn more about Linda Della Donna, be sure to visit her website http://www.littleredmailbox.com or read her blog, http://www.griefcase.blogspot.com
Be sure to email Della Donna at littleredmailbox@aol.com to receive a free copy of her ebook, “Treasury of Quotations, For Widows Only.”
Della Donna also does interviews, profiles, and assorted writing assignments. Be sure to contact her at littleredmailbox@aol.com
Tags: bereavement, bury, death, dying, funeral, Grief, griefcase, LindaDellaDonna, LindaSclier, sorrow, widow