The Focus Factor
Have you ever noticed just how powerful focus is in directing our emotions, actions and behaviors? For example, I used to get really freaked out when I drove on the freeway and came upon a stretch that was boundaried by concrete barricades. My attention became more or less locked on those barricades, often inducing a near-panic feeling that any moment I might plow into one. Maybe you’ve had the same experience or something similar.
Well it’s that very same phenomenon–the focus factor–that contributes to a sense of dread anytime you face something uncertain or that you fear. And it is our focus that often determines our emotional state, actions, behavior, perceptions and ultimately our results.
Try this experiment right now: Take 15 seconds, close your eyes and imagine the color red. Now open your eyes and look around the room. What do you see? If you’re like me and everyone else I’ve tried this exercise with, your eyes land on anything and everything that is red…a red pen, the red in a picture or piece of furniture, the red in a book
Now to illustrate the flip side of this “focus factor”, do NOT think of the color blue. Please do not think of blue for the next 15 seconds. Look around your room or office again. As I suspected your eyes automatically homed in on anything and everything blue. The room seems to be swimming in blue!! Again, the purpose of this exercise is not to determine whether you’re color blind, but rather to illustrate that what we focus on–whether positive or negative–becomes the determining factor in what we see in life. In short, our focus is self-reinforcing, self-fulfilling, and a preview of coming attractions.
I often see the “focus factor” play out dramatically when I teach public speaking. The people who preview the experience with dread, imagining the worst tend to have experiences that reinforce their worst fears. Those who imagine that the audience is excited about what they have to say and is giving them positive feedback, tend to experience more of that. In a larger sense, do you know someone who swore up and down that they were never going to be like their mother, father or another negative role model in life, and has in fact become a mirror image of that person? As you experienced in the blue exercise, there is no such thing as “not thinking about”. The very thing we struggle and effort to avoid becomes the thing we experience and replicate because we’re focusing mental and emotional energy on those negative images.
This week, ask yourself what you are focusing on in your life and/or business. Do you tend to see more of your shortcomings or your strengths? Are you focused on what you don’t like about your life, your spouse, your job, your co-workers? Are you spending time worrying about the economy and focused on the ups and downs of the market? And what results are you reaping from your focus? Are you experiencing greater happiness and a sense of freedom to chart your own destiny, or unhappiness and a prevailing mindset that you’re the “victim” of circumstances that are immutable and beyond your control?
This week pay attention to where your focus is in various dimensions of your life and business. This week….
* instead of focusing on losing weight or being overweight, focus on being lean and healthy
* instead of focusing on not spending money, focus on making smart money decisions
* instead of focusing on not failing, focus on doing your best in each moment, and holding a picture of success
* instead of focusing on wanting life to slow down and stop being so stressful, focus on being present in each moment and enjoying your experiences rather than replaying mental tapes of yourself rushing around looking, acting and feeling frantic
* instead of focusing on the things that are wrong with you, focus on what you do well or right
* instead of focusing on what you think is wrong with your spouse, child, co-worker or boss, think about who that person is behind the behavior
* instead of focusing on what you don’t have enough of (time, money, friendship, enjoyment or whatever), focus on what you do have and be grateful.
This time next week you could be well on your way to harvesting a whole new crop of beautiful life experiences, greater success and more positive relationships as a result of your shift in focus. There’s more to the road than the barricades. And as someone has so poetically put it: “Two men look out through the bars, one sees the mud, the other the stars.” The choice is yours.
Betty
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Quote of the Week:
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“When you expect good, it’s available constantly, and it makes itself a reality in your life.”
~~Alfre Woodard
Betty Mahalik has been coaching small business owners, independent professionals and leaders who want to achieve more but stress less, since 1996. Her background includes several years in the broadcasting and public relations fields prior to starting her own firm in 1987. She is an accomplished public speaker and corporate trainer specializing in communications, goal-setting and leveraging your strengths. Since 2001, she has written a weekly motivational message, free to subscribers, titled Monday Morning Coach. To subscribe go to: http://www.dynamic-coaching.com
Tags: attraction, concentration, fear, focus, perception, positive thinking, results, visualization